Part 1 of Faith and Counseling, a four-part series on how faith and psychology meet in the therapy room. The question underneath the question When a Christian asks me “why does my grief feel like a failure of my faith,” what they are usually really asking is: am I doing this wrong? There is a…
The question underneath the question When someone asks if they could have depression even though they are “still functioning fine,” what they are usually really asking is: “Am I allowed to call this depression if I am still showing up?” There is a quiet fear underneath that question — that depression belongs to people who…
The question underneath the question When someone asks “how long is too long to still be grieving,” what they’re usually really asking is something closer to: “Am I taking too long? Is something wrong with me?” There’s a quiet fear underneath that question — a worry that the people around you are starting to wish…
The phrase underneath the phrase “I feel bad.” Most of us reach for that phrase without thinking about it. We say it after a hard conversation, after losing our temper, after a fight with our spouse, after we let someone down. “I feel bad about that.” But underneath that one short sentence sit two very…
The question underneath the question When someone asks “how do I know if I’m depressed or just going through a hard time,” what they’re usually really asking is something closer to: “Am I allowed to call this depression?” There’s a quiet shame underneath that question — a fear of dramatizing something ordinary, of claiming a…